ZoKo's Progress

   Yesterday, ZoKo started a new concept in math. Pre-Algebra. As in 5+n=17-4 ...I walked her through the first problem, then she did the last two on her own. She got them right on her first try. Not bad for a 6 year old! :)
   She's been doing art more often now, and I hope to have pictures up soon. Her favorite subject right now is PE - bike riding and riding her scooter...
   I've already purchased her curriculum for next school year, and she has a great selection of classic literature books on the Kindle. Right now, she's working on The Fire Within, a book about dragons. It's the first book in a trilogy, and she's already talking about looking forward to the rest of the series.

KiKi's Accomplishments

   KiKi had a big day yesterday... We went to the Mud House coffee shop, and he walked around there for a while. We later hit Walmart, where he pushed the cart away with his feet, in order to walk through the store. This was an awesome step for him! :)
   As for food, he has now progressed to eating chili the other day, and potato soup today! Both were ground up, but full of foods he didn't normally eat. The potato soup has brocolli, cauliflower, carrots, peas, and mushrooms added to it. He ate half a meal with no protesting whatsoever!
   He is also now requesting to be picked up by grabbing my hands and placing them on his sides in order to ask me to pick him up.
   Yesterday, he also got a haircut and a bath. These are both major ordeals for him. The haircut takes about half an hour of pinning him down and a lot of screaming, like non-stop. So, we wait until his hair is poking his eyes, then we trim it to half an inch and let it grow out again. That way he gets his hair cut as seldom as possible, thus making it a less traumatic experience.

Bast Tattoo

   So, a week ago today I got another new tattoo. It cost 60 bucks and hurt like heck. My skin really hates the ink, and he had to go over it four times to get it in me. The first two times were fine. The third stung. The fourth time, yeah, I was crying. Oh well, my boyfriend didn't harass me too much about it, so I hope I wasn't too bad to deal with. Anyway, it's been a week, so the swelling is finally down enough to see the tat. This is a crappy cell pic, but I'll get a better one soon. I hope. Without further ado, here's Bast, now located on my right shoulder blade :)

The Sickness Of Ignorance

   B and Odie spent last weekend with their mother. It was supposed to be all (spring break), but she didn't get them until Friday evening and returned them Sunday afternoon. B was sick when she got home, severe headache and sore throat and mild fever. Trying to decide what medicine to give her or if to rush her to a doctor, I asked her the last time she'd drank something. She replied with, "uh, uh". So I asked if she'd drank anything today, and she said no. I asked if she'd at least had a drink with the tylenol they'd given her earlier - no. So I'm looking at a kid with a headache (classic sign of dehydration), and a sore throat (classic sign of dehydration), who hadn't drank anything all day.
   She was unable to choke down water so we went out and bought her some sprite. It took her an hour and a half to sip down half a cup of sprite, and her throat didn't hurt anymore. By the time she hit the bottom of the cup, her headache was gone... And then she starts complaining that her tummy hurts. So, I ask her when she ate last. Then I ask her what she's eaten today - nothing. Her throat hurt too much for her to feel up to eating.
   So, I got out a box of butternut squash soup and heated some up... I kept her home from school yesterday (Monday), and spent all day giving her some soup every few hours and reminding her every few minutes to take a swallow of water. The good news? She got up this morning and told me that she had a little bit of a headache (from not drinking during the night), and that she feels all better now. She's smiling, giggling, eating cheerios for breakfast, and ready for school. She's been drinking her water this morning, and told me she's really glad I knew what to do so she didn't have to go to the doctor...
   I don't know why anyone would go without giving a six-year-old anything to drink for a day and a half, and not think that maybe the headache was from not drinking anything, but I really feel badly for the kids when they come home like this. I'm really glad that she's better today, and that this time it was something that simple. Unfortunately, next time it might not be.

Eye Of Horus Tattoo

   I got a new tattoo a week ago, today. It's the Eye of Horus. It's my third tattoo, but the first professional one. I planned on posting about it sooner, but have been busy with the rest of life getting in my way. It's on the outside of my upper left arm. I'm planning on getting a Bast tattoo today, if all goes well. For being my first professional tattoo, I was surprised by how quickly it's healed up and everything. This has been something I'd wanted to do for years, but was afraid to ask how much it would cost. Impressively enough, it was only fifty bucks. :)

The Importance Of Family

   I grew up under the assumption that blood is thicker than water, and that family can survive through anything. As I got older, I realized that blood means very little and family walks away just as easily as friends do, if not moreso. I lost my brother, my father, my aunts and uncles, and my grandparents to various excuses and explanations that made little or no sense to me back then. I'm still not able to make much sense of it. They're all still alive, but I'm dead to them, or might as well be. And I adjusted, I got used to it. I'm honestly not sure how much of an impact it really had on me even...
   But I made up my mind that my children would have a different heritage. That they would always know both sides of their family, and have an open line of communication with them, in order to talk to them anytime that they wanted (despite being a state away). But what do you do when the feeling isn't mutual? Over the last 5 years I've struggled to keep in contact with people who don't return phone calls or messages, who ignore birthdays and christmas, and who can't even get the kids' names right...
   So where do I go from here? ZoKo had a revelation towards the end of last year. She finally gave up on hearing back from the messages and texts she sent their way. At 6 years old, she decided it was time to stop crying every night over the fact that they didn't call, again. And she decided that mommy was right and it wasn't her fault these people don't care. That she wasn't the one who had messed up. And I don't know if she believes me when I tell her it's their loss, but it is...
   In this chaos, I left them as friends on FaceBook, able to access pictures and updates, like maybe eventually that would make a difference and they'd start to care at some point. I wanted that line of communication left dangling so they could pick it up if they ever felt the desire... One of those lines was strung out to my kids' half sister and her mom (neither of which we have ever met). Turns out someone does care. They want to meet my kids, and to talk to them, and to know who they are, and to be a part of their family...
   So, I guess half-blood is thicker than water some days. As for the others, I'm about to do something I swore I never would. I've already gotten myself plunged into a family feud of sorts, and have been criticized for "airing dirty laundry", because I finally decided to come forward and publicly announce their attitudes and behaviors as being wrong. My kids deserve better, and I'm tired of sitting by and watching these people pretend they are such upstanding folks, when they can't be bothered to acknowledge the cries of children lost in the background. So where does this lead me? I'm done. I've publicly lowered myself to their level for one last hurrah. I've made a public statement about how shameful their behavior is, and I've been immature enough to let their lives affect mine to that extent. For that alone, I will apologize. My kids deserve better than the low-life family they were unfortunately born as a part of. And watching other people treat children like that makes you just as bad, even if you can still convince yourself otherwise long enough for you to sleep at night...
   So, having said this, and apologized, I am calling it quits. I'm handing in the cards I've been dealt, turning down the sheets for the night, and cutting ties with the past I was never invited into... I'm done keeping doors open for people that can't be appreciative of the lengths I've gone to to convince others that somehow things would work out in the end. It's over. You have their names. You can look them up when they turn 18. Friends nevermore, family only by blood, ties were never sealed and can ever so easily be cut... Peace out and have a good life...

Signs Of Affection

   So, I got a text from my boyfriend this morning: "Are we a weird couple since we like being next to each other holding hands and showing affection?" ...Apparently so. He replied to this rhetorical question stated by himself by saying, "Guess so since I wanna be with you more now than a year or so back"... Apparently it had to do with some show on the radio that he only caught part of. And I have no idea what the show said. But, either way, it got me thinking.
   The last year has been a roller coaster ride of polar opposites. This man that used to totally ignore me for hours, and couldn't figure out why I needed held at night, and didn't want to be interrupted by texts at work has totally become someone else. And I'm not sure what happened, but I'm not going to complain either. Somehow something registered that things weren't working. And I'd love to give credit to the couples communication classes (which we dropped out of), or the many couple skills books we looked at (and never actually bought), or the email newsletters we subscribed to (and always deleted before reading), or some other outside help (that we never followed through with). But, in case you can't tell by all the parentheses, I seriously doubt that any of that really made a difference in the long run. The change wasn't some miraculous outside force, but rather something inside of both of us, deciding to make things work. I gave up on looking for something better, and he gave up on thinking the minimum was enough. And somehow we met in the middle.
   It hasn't been a fairy tale, and most days offer new trials to be faced and limits and boundaries to be tested, but that's just how life goes. And yet, he's absolutely right. I miss him more now than I ever did before. And I do feel excited to get home to him. And if I go too long without texting him during the day, he sends me some random message. Sometimes it's an "I love you", and sometimes it's some totally random quirk about traffic or the weather, or about some billboard that neither of us can make any sense of. And most days those random things are enough to bring a smile to my face and remind me exactly how much he wants me to be a part of his life. And that's enough...

General Update

   Okay, so for the nobody that was watching ever so impatiently for me to post something new last night, as promised, I'm sorry that you were so terribly disappointed when I did not manage to accomplish this task. That being said, here's an update on my life, as is...
   On Wednesday, I took Odie, ZoKo, and KiKi to Target. And I've decided recently to make more of an effort to make KiKi walk in stores, something he has only done once, for about ten steps, about a year ago. Normally, I set him down and he just stands there screaming. So we went in to Target, and i set him down. And he started walking. And we followed him around the whole store. And, twenty minutes later, he found the red stools by the dressing room, which happen to be round. Well, thus ended our little journey and I had to carry him away from the big bright circles he was so proud to have discovered all on his own... But, having walked twenty minutes in a store was a very big accomplishment for him. :)
   I spent Thursday morning/afternoon sorting through paperwork at my mom's house, porganizing past bills, old mail, and things of the like. And I'm back to do that again today...
   I still have a poem I wrote on Wednesday to post sometime, but it won't be done right now. And I need to get back to compiling my poetry into books. I spent yesterday evening talking to my mom and trying hard to convince her that she's not a burden or an inconvenience, as her ex boyfriend convinced her she was. We invited her over for dinner and a movie, only to have her argue that she "had already taken enough family time from us", to which we both countered with the question as to how that's possible, considering that she is family...
   Things are doing alright here, all things considered. Not that we truly know all things in order to consider them, but it's still worth a shot, I think. I honestly wouldn't want to know everything though, it would take away the mysterious part of the universe that somehow assures that eventually everything does work out, and that lots of things seem to have a way of working out, even when least expected. So, until we meet again, stay well, my humble friend...

And Thus March Begins...

   So, today is March 2nd. It's been a hectic few weeks, dealing with mom and the kids and my boyfriend and everything else life has done to cause more chaos than I am typically accustomed to. So I think at this point, the easiest thing to do will be to break this down into individual people/events that have occured recently and write about each thing, one at a time. And, I'm sure that somewhere, somehow these events merge to create the web that is woven into the everyday life we consider so typical of these times and parallels the menageries that everybody else has dealt with in their own life, at one point or another.
   Mom: My mom broke up with her boyfriend a while back. She has finally moved past the depression stage that so typically is entailed with such events, and is now back to smiling, singing, dancing, and being more happy than I have seen in a long while. She is currently losing weight that was put on from stress, and has drastically cut her food intake, but it's to a level that she is content with and she seems to be refinding a balance that I watched her lose a long while ago...
   Halle: Halle was my mom's Seeing Eye dog. She has officially been retired, and joined our family in her retirement. She now sleeps on our bed, plays with the kids, and seems very contented in her new lifestyle. She also enjoys going with on car rides, and getting her tummy rubbed. We have had no problems with her overall adjustment, and find that she gets more used to it every day...
   My boyfriend: While I will not go so far as to say that he is enjoying his new job, I do think that my boyfriend is getting more used to it. He is still stressed over it, and they are inconsistent with the hours that he expected to work, sometimes keeping him a few hours late and sometimes letting him off an hour or two early. That being said, he is also managing to accumulate some overtime sporadically, which helps to offset the pay cut in switching jobs. As for our relationship, we are doing well. Things are not nearly as tense as they have been in the past and, at this point, most of the issues that come up are more from everyday stress than enything else.
   Wedding Plans: We've got most of the arrangements and plans for the wedding worked out, aside from the food issue. There is an awesome little restaurant here that specializes in unique health foods, and they have shown interest in making a cake to fit our needs. We are planning on ordering a small cake from them in May for ZoKo's birthday, and figure this will give us a chance to taste a cake from them and see if it is agreeable to us. Either way, we are planning on ordering some finger food snacks from them to serve on platters, they make a really good peanut butter ball, with honey and apricot pieces in it. We figure that ordering a ton of those will make a good snack...
   ZoKo: ZoKo took about a three week break from standard book work in order to accomodate the other things going on in our environment at the moment. Athough, she did keep up with her independent reading and reading books in core subjects during this break, as well as math worksheets. She resumed working with books on Monday, and it has been a slow start (science and history only), but we're working on it, together. We have been taking turns reading out of the books, and my extra involvement seems to be helping her attitude with getting back into the old routine.
   HomeSchooling: I recently bought a very large lot of classic literature and leveled books from someone on Craig's List. These are mostly rated for a 5th-6th grade level, which puts them at ZoKo's level and about 3 grade levels above where B is at the moment. The girls have spent many hours the last several days helping me sort and organize the books and digging through telling each other (very excitedly) exactly which books they "can't wait" to read. B has been practicing her grade 2 reading more enthusiastically, trying to progress herself up to the level 5 books. All the kids have been practicing their writing and math and reading skills on a daily basis.
   B: B has been making extensive progress on her school work, and is now ahead of most of her class on these basic things. This has become enough of a routine at our house that she simple gets home from school, grabs her notebook, and asks me to write out problems for her to solve. She also seems genuinely proud of herself for completing her tasks properly.
   I don't really know what else to say about the girls, other than talking about their academics, because everything has been going so well with them. They both appreciate the allowances they get for doing their chores, and generally speaking, accomplish said tasks with almost no resistance whatsoever. Overall, they are both outgoing, upbeat, and keep a positive outlook on most things that life throws their way...
   Odie: We had a parent-teacher conference Monday evening for Odie. His progress this year has been astounding. He is still not up to a kindergarten level, but he can now write his first name accurately and count to 16 on his own. He still does not know the letters of the alphabet, but we are going to be working with him on these asap. His resistance at home comes and goes, typically in a pattern consistent with the parenting schedule. He tends to iggnore me and refuse to cooperate with anything assigned to him for at least a week after returning from a weekend away. We have talked to him, and fully understand why this is, but I really don't feel like putting that reasoning out into public knowledge. We are hoping that with a combination of age, time, and continual work, substantial progress can eventually be attained. As to how likely this seems, I would honestly have to say that varies from moment to moment rather than day to day...
   KiKi: KiKi has made tremendous progress recently. Yesterday, he was tracing the outside circle of a cd on his magnadoodle, for the first time ever. He used one hand to hold the disc stable, and would move his hand around in order to keep the disc stable. The result was a 100% perfect circle outline of a cd, on his first try! I would love to say I got a picture, but he erased the magenadoodle as soon as he saw the camera in my hand. He has also made a lot of progress in eating. He will now eat most homemade soups, bean mixtures, quinoa, rice, and couscous. Yes, they are all still chopped up to roughly the same consistency, but the flavors vary a lot and he's getting used to this idea. He absolutely refuses to eat anything he considers to be cold, but has gotten used to warmer foods. He also will now eat food off of a toddler spoon rather than just a baby spoon, and will also eat food from a toddler fork.
   Well, I think I'm done for the moment. Any questions, inquiries, dilemmas, or other paradoxes, feel free to message me and maybe I'll actually reply. Until next time, peace out, so long, and thanks for all the fish...