I've spent the last several days looking at I don't know how many websites about various locations, packages, and lodging places for a wedding. Everything from mountaintops to chapels, Texas to Missouri, traditional to country bound... And so far what have I figured out? I've figured out that this all is way too much exhausting work trying to find something similar to what you want, and then it boils down to something you can settle with. So we decide on Arkansas. Two days and countless websites later, we're still waiting on responses from three different places, with three completely different ceremony styles, and in completely different parts of the state...
What else I've figured out? That trying to come up with one thing that everyone will be content with is totally not anywhere near being in the picture, and that the song "Garden Party" had it right- You can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself... I told my sister yesterday that I'm just trying to come up with something that everyone would be happy with being there for. And as she so brilliantly stated, that's up to them, whether or not they're happy. And well, yeah...
Growing up, I flipped between swearing I'd never get married and dreaming about the perfect wedding in Hawaii on horseback under a remote waterfall during a sunset. Aka, I even had the company picked out I was going to go with, they fly out by helicopter to a remote location and then you ride in by horse the last 30 minutes to the water fall, and the only other people their are the officiant and the paid witnesses. And it included a 5 day honeymoon cruise... Yeah, I'm pathetic, I know.
My first wedding was small, it was just us, my kids, my mom, and the next door neighbor that we invited last minute as a second witness. Well, she invited everyone she had over because they happened to be having a party that night. So I think in total we ended up with about 15 guests. But we only knew 1 of them... It was night time, on a bridge in front of a lit up fountain in the middle of a pond. And I wore jeans and a tank top. His family was invited, but they refused to come because of their strong disapproval of me. So maybe that's why the family and everybody being happy part is important to me.
I want the second time around to be right. But what is right? My father won't be there. He doesn't know and doesn't care. I might send a text to my brother eventually, I haven't decided yet. My sister and her family are talking about coming down, if they can manage it financially and time-wise. My mom will be there. My mom wanted me to invite her siblings, just to be nice, or social, or whatever. These are people I haven't even talked to in several years... As for my BF, his mom passed away a few years ago. His dad and step-mom have to be there or he won't go through with it, his brother is going to be invited, but I don't know about anyone else in his family. I don't even know most of the others.
Friends. I don't know. I'm planning on inviting them when we finally settle on a date/time. But considering that most of them can't be bothered to drive 15 minutes for my birthday, I don't see many of them driving a minimum of 2 hours to attend my wedding. Just being honest. My mom just keeps telling me that that's why she just eloped for her first wedding, trying to make all the arrangements and everything work together just got to them. But when you're asking people to come in from different states, last minute doesn't exactly work. And eloping isn't an option because too many people would probably never forgive us for that, even if they don't understand us getting married to begin with.
So right now, I'm torn between mountains, horses, and rivers. Cabins, hotels, bed & breakfasts. Churches, waterfalls, and bridges. Just family or friends too. No lodging, one night, or two... About all I do know is that the Arkansas part sounds good, and June seems to work for most people involved (I don't have a date preference). And no matter which option I go with, it all costs more and takes more time to arrange than I want it to. But so goes life.