This year for Christmas what I realy hope for most is that all the crap people I know are going through will simmer down, ease off, and lose the attention it's currently stealing from their minds. This includes my sister's struggles with a school system that doesn't seem to care, my mom's struggles with a boyfriend of which I could say the same, and my BF's struggles with an ex that makes life more difficult than it ought to be. Right now, there's plenty of illnesses going around, and the stresses are overflowing our cups of sanity. So what else are we to do but to attempt to lighten these pressures whenever possible? I'm not one to lecture on looking at the positive things in life, or on trying to handle things as quickly and quietly as possible without making a scene. Neither are things that come natural or easily to me.
But for some reason, at this very moment, I feel somewhat decent at this place in life. Watching my son tear up a paper bag, and my daughter play with legos, and my new water dragon looking about in awe at his new cage. Somehow, there is peace to be found there, and comfort as well. For even in the most stressful of circumstances, I can always find a smile waiting in KiKi's puzzles or CD's, and a laugh waiting in ZoKo's games and jokes that make no sense in reality. Even on the worst days, when I truly want to give up, I can still find that glimmer of love and affection from my friends, my kids, and my family. And some days, or rather most days, that little glimmer is enough to keep going. I'm not sure how, but it is.
I spent an hour last night with a good friend, mostly just talking about random things which have nothing to do with life in the long run. And that made some of the things I've been going through lately somehow feel better.
My friend helped me get a new water dragon for Christmas, that means more to me than I can sanely explain. So I'm not even going to try. His name is Romy, short for Romania. The last one was named after Yugoslavia, so it was fitting to go with Romania this time.
I'm fixing lunch right now, butternut squash soup from a box. I'm being lazy, but I don't really care much at the moment about that. I'm going to try to start doing daily writing on here from a Cheryl Richardson journal, titled Turning Inward. It gives you ideas to write about and you go from there. I don't know how that will go, and some of it may get too personal for broad-stream publication. Then again, knowing very few people actually take the time to read this, privacy may not be a factor at all. I'll post the first one shortly, till then have fun and Merry Christmas (or Hannukah or Kwanzaa or Festivus or whatever winter holiday/festival you choose to celebrate)...