Wednesday, November 16, 2016

How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety by Zachary Auburn

How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, And Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by Zachary Auburn, presented by "The American Association of Patriots" is paws-down the most informative book written on these crucial subjects. This book is a compilation of eight brochures on how to keep our cats safe during these perilous and dangerous times. The brochures are done mostly as a Q&A format, with lots of pictures to illustrate the dangers of not talking to your cat about these things, as well as reinforcing the pawsitive effects of having these serious conversations before it's too late.

As a mom to several felines, I found this book very eye-opening and I learned a lot of things that made me realize how great the need is for more books like this. We don't talk to our cats often enough or early enough about the very things threatening their existence and our way of life. What would we, as a society, do without our cats by our sides?

Pawsitively impurrtant takeaways from this book:

Gun Safety
- the importance of teaching you cat proper gun safety
- the best age to start teaching them about gun safety
- how your cats can safely use a gun while hunting
- the most common reasons to get them their own gun (dogs, burglars, ghosts, and foreign threats)

- the best way to make sure your cat is well indoctrinated in sound Biblical theology is to leave multiple copies of the Bible laying around open to Genesis for their napping and reading pleasure (my cats found this advice to be purrfectly sound and very effective)
- explains why cat fossils aren't found in lower layers of rock
- the dangers of your cats socializing with other cats outside, at the vet, or even the new cats that you bring into your household

- explains why abstinence-only sex education is right for your cat (even when all their friends are already doing it)
- the difficulties faced by kittens of pre-marital sex (did you know that they're more likely to abuse catnip and other drugs?)
- the birth control controversy and plots by providers such as Planned Purrenthood to steal our cats' souls
- the best way to ensure that your cat doesn't engage in premarital sex (it's simpler than you think)

Online Safety
- threats your cat faces on the internet, and why their access to the internet is even an issue
- what to do when your cat asks for a smartphone (they're all getting one these days)

- the dangers of newly refined strains of catnip entering the U.S.
- how to tell if your cat's been using drugs

- the development of girl kittens vs. boy kittens - and how to deal with both
- bullying, masturbation, sexting, video games, and homewsexuality are all addressed directly

Postapocalyptic Survival
- preparing your cat for the collapse of civilization
- skills and equipment needed, as well as specific scenarios to make sure your cat is prepared for the inevitable

- how we know Satan is real, and how he lures young cats into his fold
- the dangers of books, dungeons & dragons, video games, television, magic, and music
- how to tell if your cat has become involved in the occult or possessed by a demon

I strongly urge any fellow cat owners/lovers who are concerned about the future safety of their cats and our society to get and read this book. Do you really want to be caught off guard when your cat cuddles with your favorite gun, starts running around with the neighbor cats, or doesn't know how to protect itself from the ghost in your living room? These are very dangerous times for us, our nation, and our cats. Please protect yourselves, before it's too late.

5/5 Stars. *Disclaimer: I received a free print copy of this book from Blogging For Books, in exchange for this honest review. All opinions are my own.*

Purchase links:
    Gun Safety For Cats

No comments:

Post a Comment