"City Island"

   To anyone who has ever been in one of those families where most of your experiences and "family events" could have ended up on an episode of Jerry Springer, or for those of you who are absolutely positive that your life could easily be compiled to make a full one or two seasons of that show, you'd probably enjoy the movie "City Island". Or, at least, that's my opinion. Not that it matters much, but I figured I'd share it with you anyway. I just saw the movie for the first time, and it was funny. Not as in the make you roll on the floor, laugh til your stomach hurts type of funny, but the "oh my god, that's how messed up life really is" type of funny.
   It's funny to see a movie that is so good at demonstrating how so many people have these little white lies that they hide from their loved ones. The secrets that we keep hidden because we're ashamed of the truth, or because we don't know how the other person will react, or just because we somehow feel that's a part of ourselves better off left in the dark. And I don't know what the heck we're supposed to do when we get sick of hiding these secrets. Because usually by then, they build up so big and take up such a huge part of our overall story that we don't even know where to begin if we did want to tell someone. Shoot, the things Mutt doesn't know about me could fill up a decent sized novel. But I don't think that's all bad. To quote my second favorite movie, "I don't think we ever need to know everything about the ones we love". Bonus points if you can name that movie, without looking it up online.
   But the point is, what about all the innocent, harmless, so called "white lies" that we tuck away every single day? Exaggerate one thing or another, or simply "forget" to mention that you ran into an ex-lover, or your high school crush. Say you went out with friend A to go bowling, when you really went with friend B to watch a football game at his house. Does it make a difference? Obviously it did to you, or you wouldn't have lied to begin with. Right? I mean why would we lie about the small stupid stuff unless we felt the need to for some reason?
   Most of the time though, eventually, those white lies seem to grow bigger and bigger. And, most of the time, they somehow come back to bite you in the rear. So, watch the movie, laugh on the inside, wonder if your family is any better off than theirs, and then go tell just one person your biggest, deepest, darkest secret. And don't try to pretend you don't have any, because, well, we're all humans and we can see straight through that one. Everyone has at least one secret, even if you don't call it that. As for what mine is, maybe I'll tell you sometime, but, like the chick said, then it won't be a secret anymore. Maybe some of our secrets are better off left in hiding just a while longer, a good plan A while you're waiting for a plan B to arrive. After all, isn't that what life usually ends up being, a series of plans that go wrong yet somehow works out exactly the way they were supposed to? Just a thought.
   And if your aspiration in life is to be an actor, just ask yourself if you're better at the lies you're manufacturing or the lies you're living? Maybe your acting could use a lesson from your real life, or vice versa. Maybe giving up the white lies isn't the answer for you personally, maybe you'd be better off just being able to admit to yourself when you are lying. That's a start. It's an awfully big start, all things in life considered semi fairly. Not that such a thing exists, but still, wishful thinking isn't always a bad thing. Or maybe you should try to work on clearing up some of the past times when you could have helped someone and instead you turned away and shut the door. Yes, I've done that plenty of times as well. Whether I was in too much of a hurry, or felt that I somehow couldn't afford to be helpful, or had nothing to lend. And yet, isn't that still the same idea? How about once you find someone to tell your secret to, you do something even grander, and make yourself available to hear someone else's secret? Not to share it or somehow try to profit or gain from that knowledge, but to let them feel the freedom of releasing that hold it has on them. And yet you do truly profit, becuse in learning another's secret, you gain a little bit more knowledge about them, and can get to know them better and understand them and where they are coming from even more.
   So yes, I'm recommending you watch a movie most people would probably consider lame, share your absolute biggest secret so that it's no longer a secret, and open yourself up to actually truly listening to someone who needs to be able to tell somebody something, no matter how big or small that something may be. Simple? Doubtful. Worthwhile? Infinitely!
   Until next time, peace out :)